I tell myself that I need to be strong. I tell myself that there is no one to impress but yourself and the most important person you’ll ever love is yourself. I tell myself that every time things get hard, I can pick myself up because it’s only going to get easier the next time.
But future me never tells me that it actually gets harder and harder.
We tell ourselves what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, but we always seem to have to go through hell first. You know, there are days where I suddenly get sad and think about all the sad things that have happened to me and it’s as if my brain just decided to spontaneously screw my heart over and pour all these thoughts into my mind and my pounding heart begins to sting a little each time I breathe.
I don’t know what I’m sad about. Is there ever really one reason anyway? I don’t want to talk about it, nor do I even know where to start if I were to. Or maybe that’s just an excuse because I don’t want to face my emotions. I think what bugs me is when people see me as someone “strong”. I’ve had people who tell me I’m one of the strongest people they know. Muscles aside, what makes me so ‘strong’?
Have I been through a lot in life? Yes. Have I had to deal with things that a normal twenty year old wouldn’t have to? Perhaps.
But I have a roof over my head, I have an education, I have a Mom. What makes me “strong”? I wonder if we all had to write down a list of all the bad things that have happened to us- the breakups, the losses, etc etc, how do we compare who’s the stronger one, the one who dealt with more bad things in their life?
Everyone reacts to situations differently and I think as long as you are reading this right now, no matter what you have or have not been through, you, are, strong. So give yourself a pat on the back tomorrow morning, because you have survived another day in your life. Remember the hardest battles are with yourself, so give yourself strength before you take on the world.